First Trimester FAQues

If you know me well, then you read the title just right. I guess you've all been "there" too and were asked some absurd questions that sometimes leaves you clueless on what to say.

Last night, I was up for an extra 30 minutes trying to figure out if these are just pregnant hormones making me mean but I realized that my pregnancy is just an excuse, I am really mean. Anyway, here are some examples of questions that were asked to us (B and I) that we answered rather, POLITELY but what we really want to say was something of the snarky kind. Single ladies, you can learn from this, either you try and not ask these questions as to not appear annoying, or ask these questions if you wanna piss off 'em baking women.

10: Congratulations! Do you want it to be a baby boy or girl?
Actual Answer: Okay rami sig unsa man
What we want to say: a healthy baby

10.1: but really, in your deepest of thoughts and wishes, unsa jud inyung gusto?
Actual Answer: Okay rajud sig unsa
What we want to say: B#g$ man siguro ka. Gusto namu maundang na imung pangutana.

9: Is walking on a treadmill at this early stage safe? Di ba kaha ma lag lag imung baby?

Actual Answer: Okay raman

What we want to say: Does your vagina open every time you walk?

8: Have you already decided where to give birth? You should check out *insert _________ here*

Actual Answer: We are already canvassing where, we are going to add this one on the list, thank you kaayo!

What we want to say: We already have two in mind but we are not saying because people will always have something bad to say about something.

7: OMG Congratulations! How far long are you? Wow your tummy looks big/small lagi?

Actual Answer: __Weeks, mao ba? Dako/gamay siya? 

What we want to say: ___ Weeks, actually wala pay international standards na size sa kani na weeks, so we wouldn't know if it's big or small. 

6: Huii, who would you want the baby to look like?

Actual Answer: Wa pami kahibaw actually, basta ang ilong good luck. 

What we want to say: Bryan: Me

                                     Nym: Me

5: When are you due?

Actual Answer: May 4-7 next year

What we want to say: May 4-7 next year, around mid-year bonus ninyu. Timing sa? :)

4: What are your plans after giving birth?

Actual Answer: B wants me to resign after to be a full-time mom for a year. I don't know what's going to happen after that

What I (Nym) want to say:  B wants me to resign after to be a full-time mom for a year. but I will most probably be an Uber driver by the time our baby is 6 months old.

3: Have you guys decided on a name already?

Actual Answer: Wala pa :)

What we want to say: Yup we already did but we are not telling. 

2: Congratulations! So, naa najuy morning sickness? Or mga di ganahan na food?

Actual Answer: Wala man, no morning sickness, all food is fine, I just don't like drinking water and I'm always sleepy

2.1: Mao ba? Kuyawa gud, wait til your next month dayun you'll experience those

Actual Answer: Maayu lag di sad ui. I'm like mama, she didn't experience those

What we want to say: Can you just quit imposing those on me? Di man mandatory maka experience ko ana tanan, kung wala, wala okay? Stop waiting for me to feel miserable. You are already around as it is

1: OMG! Congratulations! Finally! How did you guys do it?

Actual Answer: Exercise, prayers, God's time not ours

What we want to say: Uhm, how every one makes babies I guess?