Scapegoat

Scapegoat: 
Someone else who takes the blame.

How are you? I've been inactive lately because I felt the writer's block that somehow uhm, ?blocked? my capacity to write any thought provoking. I've got four pending OOTD posts but I haven't written any thing worth publishing for a while. 

I've been using my mental and physical juices for a quite some time because my new job designation requires me to. I head the team responsible for 90% of our annual sales and if that ain't called pressure, then P=F/A is

Haha. 

At the same time, we've also renovated our kitchen. We finally decided to have an old Filipino-themed house and we've made a back-splash counter background made of  bricks and I'm gonna post some pics in the far far future. I have always respected B's attitude of always creating a better environment for me, my mom and our future family. But wee  felt that we deserve to have a break so that made me ask,  "What do I owe myself?"

At this point, I don't think I do. But if I were to ask myself the same question five years ago, I would've said A LOT. I neglected to share my love and life to people I call family and friends, I wasn't the best version of myself because there wasn't really any motivation for me to be better. Looking back, I could say that there were a lot of good times and if there were any toxic and difficult situations, I chose to suffer. I chose to suffer and the effect was that I had put myself in situations that drained all my energy and capacity to do anything for myself. I thought I already have IT. Cliche as this sounds, B came into my life, showed me what a real man is (even though I wasn't ready) and even had the humility to tell me (despite HOW AWESOME he is) that I am the one he's constantly praying for.

I've also been told to have a hair cut every once in awhile. 

Fairy tales would always narrate that the prince has found the princess, but we, B and I, don't live in a fairy tale world. I am no damsel in distress and he's no macho-I-can-do-everything man. We have our lapses, but our lives together has always been a push and pull towards the next level. I am also no relationship expert but a good marriage also motivates one to serve the other because selflessness is more important than the ego. 

My weekends usually consists of doing multiple errands and this one's no different. It was a working Saturday and I have to attend someone's graduation party. This orange messengers' boy bag from Converse is a new favorite since I can put a lot of stuff inside yet it doesn't look bulky on the actual. 

Dress: Habitat| Messenger Bag: Converse|Sneakers: Adidas|Watch: Timex

Water under the bridge

Water Under The Bridge: 

Anything from the past that isn't significant or important anymore.

I am in for a long day today. We will have our monthly evaluation along with our bosses and I will be scrutinized as to how well I did last April. I don't normally have any problems work wise but the husband and I had a "civil war" a few hours ago and as with me and well, fights, they usually don't end well. I tend to sulk and be very very mad but as I am very much determined to improve, I just decided to keep my mouth shut the whole drive.

If you think it's taboo that I shared what happened awhile ago, let me tell you that it's normal for married couples to argue and bicker. You'd think that over the period that we dated, moved in a place together and officially got married, we'd be living in harmony, but no. Relationships don't work that way. The greatest challenge of making up after a fight is trying to communicate like an adult that we are when, to be honest, I'd rather act like a spoiled brat. 

One tends to set a bar when it comes to finding the "man of their dreams" or the "girl of their wildest fantasies"and of course, the standards are high, after all, YOU deserve the best. The journey of dating, experimenting and starting all over again can be a very tedious process so if you want to take up on something more fulfilling instead, try to be a person for others. Detach yourself for a time so that you can have all the space and energy for growth because love happens inside of you. 

When getting into an exclusive relationship, understand that it requires multiple and multi-tasking skills. If you call FB-ing and texting at the same time as a skill, then it's time to stop acting like a robot and feel like a human being. 

Find a life partner who accepts that you are different from others and wouldn't have you any other way. Yes you are allowed to have weird habits, you can have strange preferences and it's okay. When s/he "gets" you, call it magic. Love is acceptance and love is a gift

Okay, on to the my outfit. I wore this one a few weeks ago when my mother-in-law visited us. My life is full of multiple errands so I have to be on-the-go always. My temperature was spiking from 37-39 degrees but I paid it no mind since I want to make the most of my MIL's visit. 

Again, I bought a blouse that's shaped like a dress. It would have been easy-peasy to just pair this with leggings but I took into consideration that we will be going to Sto. Niño and it's very hot. I took the "Batang 90s" route and paired it with my combat boots. 

We stopped by SM Seaside to grab a quick bite so I hid my cycling shorts and made this top look like I was really wearing short dress making my legs look longer

.

Mini Dress: Odioli|Bag: Sta. Barbara Polo Club|Combat Boots: People are People

Wine and Dine

Wine and Dine: 

When somebody is treated to an expensive meal.

Who's afraid of commitment?

Before Bryan era, I was. I was very careless with how I handled people because I can't predict the outcome and nothing irks me more than NOT knowing. 

Being scared is normal, being reckless isn't

Being scared is normal because you are being vulnerable and you are about to give an intangible part of yourself that has value without knowing how the receiver will accept it. But has anyone ever thought of being committed to oneself? Human connection is the norm and what we usually crave for but if you find peace without craving another person's companionship then you win at life. You win at life because your are not codependent upon another person

 If you haven't reached that kind of independence, then don't be the person who's into #relationshipgoals and #squadgoals. Invest on yourself, on tangible assets and on your health.  Practice self-awareness and continue to increase the value of what's in your bank. Love will come in the right time but as of the moment, it's time to build your greatest asset; YOU. 

I wore this corporate attire on one of the events that I spearhead on our company. I supervise sales operations and broker management relationship so I always try my best to put my best foot forward. The white scarf you see is actually attached to the white silk polo and upon looking at this picture, I just realized that the knot I did at the neckline was so small that the length of the whole tie is too long. My intention was to make my short torso look long but the tie was just inappropriately long.

White silk polo: Calvin Klein|Gray Slacks: G2000|Black pumps: F&F|Braided belt:H&M|Pearls: H&M

20-Day Lipstick challenge DAY 6

If you are a lippie fanatic like me and a few of my friends, then you are going to like this challenge. My lipstick choices are in no particular order BUT the every day choice would have to be something that will go well with what I’m wearing. My pictures are all raw as intended so pardon my photography skills.

I chose Cosmo by MAC for Day 6, and while some are raving about it, it looks totally natural to me that on photos, it doesn't look like I'm wearing any lipstick at all. What I like about it though is it balances my make up whenever I choose to darken my already dark eyebrows. It wears out easily (around 2-3 hours for me) so I have to constantly check it. The texture reminds me of Nyx B52 which will be featured soon in this challenge.